When Cymbalta Cant Help

 Depression is tiring as fuck. You literally want to do nothing but stay in bed all day and sleep because you feel being awake sucks so badly. You wont wanna eat be social or even go outside. The façade you were able to put on for so long that you're "ok" now shows itself faulty. You pull away from everything you care about. Things you once cared about no longer matter. Nothing seems to matter. Its not just a few minutes or even days. No, this feeling lasts months. Years even. It may not seem like its there to others because some days you can fake it. Some days you can smile. And no one will know that inside all off you is falling apart. Its not just in your mind either. Nope. You feel it in your body. You ache. You're sore. You feel like you have no outlet. You're tired for no reason and when you're awake you cry until you fall back asleep. You'll ask why you then wonder why you're asking as if anyone is even listening or cares. You feel no one does. You sink deeper into yourself. Everything you try to keep to yourself starts to show on the outside. Your skin gets bad. You hair falls out. You lose weight faster than any diet imaginable. Your "friends" fade because they feel you're flaking on them when in reality you dont know how to explain whats going on. Your family whispers amongst themselves how you're "just acting out for attention" not stopping to think that if they paid more attention to their interactions with you they might understand you better. People you care for start to drift away because they "cant deal". Pretty much the time when you need someone to be there for you the most, everyone's gone. So you sink. You retract within yourself til theres only a shell of what used to be. You pull so deep inside that its possible nothing can pull you out. Darkness and lonliness becomes your friend because at the end of your tunnel nothing is there to help you see a light.