Help Me To Trust You

Help me to trust you. Help me to realize that when you show me you care its not to use it against me later on, but to let me know that not everyone is out to use me. Help me to stop hoping you'll mess up so my mental self-sabotaging will be justified. Help me to understand not everyone has an ulterior motive. Help me to allow you to continue to make me happy without me getting in my own way. Im scared. Skittish. The thought of caring again terrifies me. Help me overcome that fear. Help me get out of my head because thats where all my doubts are. The lightning storm is raging in there just help me to calm my mind. Help me to not overthink your actions just because the last time i didn't overthink things went wrong. Help me to become the person i want to be for you. The person you need me to be for you. Someone you can depend on to be there for you and make things better on those days when things just wont go right. Someone who'll always have your back and be your biggest cheerleader. Someone who trusts you. Im trying not to hold other peoples mistakes against you because what they've done shouldn't affect you. Im trying to give you a fair chance its just my judgement is a little cloudy. I may not be doing the best job at the moment but I'm making a conscious effort because i think you deserve it. I just need you to help me.

-Ash

A Fair First Chance

Life is so much easier once you move your pride out of the way. Its really just a blinder to keep you from seeing what you COULD have if you just let go. Accept the fact that just maybe somebody might want to be there for you. Let them. Give them the chance to show you what their intentions are instead of wrongly assigning intentions to them. Give people the opportunity to care for and about you. It may be a new concept. It might just scare the hell out of you because its never been done before. Doesn't matter. Let them help you put your guard down. Let them be there when you're stressing. Let them show you that you matter and they want you to be happy. Let them make you happy! Stop letting YOU stop you from being happy. I mean, whats is so wrong with someones actions and words finally adding up? You really about to let your past disappointments and upsets disrupt the connection they're trying to build with you? Instead of stressing over what happened the last time you gave someone a second chance, how about you let someone who's trying to be there for YOU flourish with their first?