Help Me To Trust You

Help me to trust you. Help me to realize that when you show me you care its not to use it against me later on, but to let me know that not everyone is out to use me. Help me to stop hoping you'll mess up so my mental self-sabotaging will be justified. Help me to understand not everyone has an ulterior motive. Help me to allow you to continue to make me happy without me getting in my own way. Im scared. Skittish. The thought of caring again terrifies me. Help me overcome that fear. Help me get out of my head because thats where all my doubts are. The lightning storm is raging in there just help me to calm my mind. Help me to not overthink your actions just because the last time i didn't overthink things went wrong. Help me to become the person i want to be for you. The person you need me to be for you. Someone you can depend on to be there for you and make things better on those days when things just wont go right. Someone who'll always have your back and be your biggest cheerleader. Someone who trusts you. Im trying not to hold other peoples mistakes against you because what they've done shouldn't affect you. Im trying to give you a fair chance its just my judgement is a little cloudy. I may not be doing the best job at the moment but I'm making a conscious effort because i think you deserve it. I just need you to help me.

-Ash