Lately

Lately i dont know what's going on. Ive been getting rid of a lot of dead weight. People i used to want to be there forever now seem more like liabilities. Ive been less accommodating with things i used to put up with. Once i see someones purpose is to turn me into their doormat i show THEM the door. I might be wrong, but i feel like deserve ALOT better than some of what i accept. So i stopped accepting it. And When i tell you saying "No" feels good? It might be my new favorite word. People will take advantage of everything if you let them. ESPECIALLY your time and energy. So i gave stopped letting them. They may not be happy but i sure am. And nothing outside of my little one means more than that. Ive also become a bit more forgiving. Ive forgiven some people who've REALLY hurt me because not doing so only hurts me further. Some out loud, others silently but forgiven nonetheless. Even those i know will do it again. Not saying I've become mother Theresa and everyone is my friend, but i no longer have the time to hold grudges. People will ALWAYS fuck up. Myself included. But if others can understand that and forgive me, then i should be able to do the same. I understand that its a process. Not everything will happen overnight. But at the same time its up to me how long i allow things to negatively affect me. I mask how i feel very well to where some people wont even know something is wrong. But to those who actually know the real me, that mask doesn't fool them for a second. Im working on me to be able to not need a mask. Where i can show an emotion and it'll be one that i FEEL not just one i want people to see. Im nowhere close to where i want to be but i know i can get there. And if i can believe that honestly, as much as i doubt everything i do, then i know it can happen. Im a work in progress wont be finished anytime soon. But I'm ok with that because i know what i CAN and WILL be when I'm done.